The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

"The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience."

- Eleanor Roosevelt

"But what minutes!

Count them by sensation,

and not by calendars,

and each moment is a day."

- Benjamin Disraeli

"Summertime and the livin' is easy..." So goes the gorgeous and melodious song from the musical Porgy and Bess.  Here we are in the throes of July, a vacation summertime month for some.  A time for new and varied experiences for others.  Maybe we'll be able to, at long last, kick back, put our feet up and find a nice shady spot underneath the branches of a favorite tree.  Maybe it's a time to pick up that book that we have been meaning to read so that we can be re-freshed and re-created through the power of words and ideas.

If you haven't already done so, now is a great time to pick up a book written 25 years ago by Stephen R. Covey entitled The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  We might have heard of the book, but have we actually taken the time to read it?  It's a powerhouse, a wealth of wisdom and insight.

Check out the title - it's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  Effective, not Successful.  All three contestants missed this question on a recent Jeopardy show.  They tried to put the word 'successful' in the title, rather than the word author Covey chose, 'effective'.  Perhaps we are a bit obsessed with the concept of being successful when maybe we might want to try to be more effective in our personal lives and in running our businesses.

At any rate, here are the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:

Habit 1 - Be Proactive (Principles of Personal Vision)

Habit 2 - Begin with the End in Mind (Principles of Personal Leadership)

Habit 3 - Put First Things First (Principles of Personal Management)

Habit 4 - Think Win/Win (Principles of Interpersonal Leadership)

Habit 5 - Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood (Principles of Empathic Communication)

Habit 6 - Synergize (Principles of Creative Cooperation)

Habit 7 - Sharpen the Saw (Principles of Balanced Self-Renewal)

In presenting workshops and seminars, Covey said the Habit 5 "Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood" is the most often requested topic of the 7 Habits.

Best wishes for a terrific summer!  May you be energized by the resources at your fingertips and in the world around you this summer.  May your life be enriched as you work on bringing principles such as those listed above to fruition.  May you enjoy the journey to becoming a complete and fulfilled person in your private and in your professional life.

Godspeed!

Lydia

FL Crooks & Co

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How Mediation Can Improve Your Outlook

How Meditation Can Improve Your Outlook

Alden Wicker

When I graduated from college I was 20 pounds heavier than I am now. It took three years to drop all that weight, slowly but surely. Ceasing to binge drink like a college student likely helped, but I attribute the bulk of the loss to yoga and meditation.

Yoga and meditation both helped me get in tune with my body and mind. They’re tools that teach you how to slow down and assess what is going on. You learn to be honest with yourself, to gently probe down to uncover the real reason behind your actions.

After picking up meditation on the regular, I found myself having gentle, honest conversations with myself whenever I started craving junk food. “Are you actually hungry?” “Um … let me see … yes. But not super hungry.” “What do you want?” “Cupcakes!” “Really?” “Well, I want something sweet.” “How sweet? Because last time you ate a cupcake you thought it was … a bit too much.” “That’s true. And I don’t really feel like eating a cupcake by myself today. That’s sad. Maybe I could just pick up a fruit smoothie.” “Lovely idea, my dear!”

And if meditation helped you cut the junk from your diet (as studies have indicated) why can’t the same thing hold true for your closet? Fashion is loaded with just as much—if not more—emotional baggage. There’s emotional shopping, just like emotional eating. And we lie to ourselves all the time when it comes to clothing: about fit, about whether we’ll actually wear it, about how it will transform our lives.

Yes, building an excellent wardrobe takes mindfulness.

Mindfulness in Shopping
First, you have to get familiar with your likes and dislikes, and the shape of your body. It may seem silly to meditate on your clothing, but with the amount of money you’re spending on stuff you end up hating? Just go with it.

Close your eyes and imagine what you were wearing when you felt most beautiful. What was the fit? The color? What did it evoke for you? Hold the image of your favorite outfit in your mind and examine it from all angles. What kind of fabric is it made out of? How does it make you feel emotionally? How does it feel against your skin?

When you see images of models or celebrities or fashion bloggers, acknowledge the feelings that they evoke in you. Jealousy? Inadequacy? Yearning? Pity? Hostility? An eye roll? Ask yourself, if you find yourself coveting the clothing you see in ads, why you covet it so. Perhaps you long to be at the beach yourself, so a beach-y Ralph Lauren ad draws you in. Then address the fact that buying a Ralph Lauren bikini won’t put you on the beach or win you a man with a chiseled jaw. That it’s just clothing.

A Pendleton Sweater, made to last.

Not to say that meditation means you won’t ever shop again! It just helps you make better decisions. Maybe, when you see a certain Pendleton sweater, you recognize it as something you would just love. The fit and colors are just perfect, and you’ve been repeatedly searching for just such a sweater in your closet to throw on and coming up short. It could be, quite honestly, a great addition to your closet. 

 

In any case, always sit with the idea of the clothing you want to buy for a few minutes, a few hours, or even a few days. Turn it over in your mind and see how your emotional connection to it changes. Perhaps, like an toxic friendship that doesn’t serve you, it falls away. Or perhaps, after some time, you realize that it would serve a useful and beautiful purpose in your life. There’s no right answer, as long as you’re being honest with yourself.

This careful, thoughtful, honest approach to fashion has a couple benefits. First, it will save you money as you let go of impulse shopping. Second, it will lead you naturally to well-crafted, lifetime pieces, instead of fast fashion bought on a whim and then stuffed under the bed.

Mindfulness in Organization
Mindfulness and meditation come in handy when you’re cleaning out your closet, too.
Oh, boy, do we lie to ourselves about our closet. That piece of clothing you haven’t worn in two years. Why do you keep it? “Because it’s beautiful!” you might say. But dig deeper. Perhaps it’s a designer brand that represents prestige to you. Perhaps it’s a suit that represents a fear of getting fired and having to interview for new jobs. Perhaps it represents fitting in with your college friends, or being the kind of person your parents want you to be.

Acknowledge the emotions that letting go of your clothing brings up. But also recognize when clothing isn’t serving you anymore. That your first J. Crew sweater you could ever afford is pilling, and you now can afford better. That you work in a field that never requires suits, and that is awesome. That you like wearing black, and that is OK because Mom and Dad can’t tell you what to do anymore.

Lay the items where you can see them and let them be there for a few days so you can get used to the idea of letting them go. Then let them go! Consign, donate, or recycle them. And watch space open up in your closet for new and better things.

You know, like that Pendleton sweater?

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